Words

Me: “I keep looking at her blog but she hasn’t written in it for forever!”
Caty: “Kathy, you haven’t written in your blog for forever either!”

But I look at it often… If I look at it often enough, won’t the words just write themselves?

The words of tears of frustration over every aspect of life here… The words of being overwhelmed by the constant presence of people all around me (oh the life of an introvert)… The words of struggling through beginning to share my classroom space and handing over a group of kids whom I love dearly to a teacher whom has a long way to grow… The words of feeling so desperately lonely yet surrounded by people, grasping for any little communication from my loved ones 7,000 miles away… The words of early-morning lesson planning and attempts to avoid chaos…

The words of hushed talks with Holly in my classroom about whatever is on our heart… The words of one on one’s with Autumn where I get to just be… The words of watching Stacy jump on a trampoline for the first time in her life… The words of pleading with God to heal my heart which breaks on a daily basis… The words of preparing to visit the community where our sweet Moses was enslaved… The words of hugs and conversations (and constant frustrations) with Bismark… The words of seeing the relief on Rosemary’s face and hearing multiple exclamations of “THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!” when I was able to make her computer work again…The words of Autumn talking about looking at blog stats and being thankful I’m not the only one… The words of playing soccer with the little boys until dinner time and having Sammy prance around like a little pre-professional with a grin on his competitive face the whole time… The words of finally starting to work with the groups I will have the whole year…

The words of paining stomachs… The words of forgetting to take your laundry out of the washer all day long… The words of getting a dresser for our room and screaming for joy… The words of sunset prayer runs… The words of afternoons in the one coffee shop we know exists in Ghana… The words of conviction from a telecast at 2am in the Beebe’s living room…

No, I suppose they won’t write themselves. I guess that’s my job.