Even after being in this country for four months, I am
continuing to experience a number of “firsts,” which has led to a funny week.
For example, yesterday was my first time driving in Ghana! I
was on a mission with Auntie Lucy and Auntie Lydia to go get measured for a
dress, and as we approach the car, Lydia is like “Oh Kathy, you drive!” Ok…
Doesn’t sound like a big deal. But to get from our house to the main road, you
have to navigate a ridiculous road that is covered in big holes and rocks.
Then, once you reach the main road, people drive FAST! This was another first…
Almost getting killed. Haha I pulled out much too close to the cars that were
coming behind us, forgetting how fast they were driving… Although I got laughed
at a lot by the girls, we all lived to tell the tale, so that was a blessing! I
only drove on that road for maybe three minutes before we took the turn to head
back into the bush in search of the woman who was taking our measurements.
Leading to another first… Visiting the home of someone who
really does live in a mud hut. We pulled up to this sweet woman’s house and
were greeted by the woman, a man who looked like her brother rather than her
husband, and two young children (maybe ages 5 and 7). The children immediately
hopped out of their chairs and presented them to Lucy and I. Everyone was
speaking in Twi so I didn’t catch much of the conversation, only “short sleeve
or long sleeve,” “straight dress,” and the body parts they were measuring… Plus
a few “obruni” and “daabi’s” (“white person” and “no”) thrown in. Again, I got
laughed at a couple of times simply because I didn’t know what was going on… As
frustrating as it is to be made fun of simply because I don’t know the
language, it happens often at school as well so eventually you just have to get
over it (or get really angry every time it happens, which does no good).
But during this time of observing, I simply spent time
looking around me… Looking at the pieces of scrap metal somehow held together
to create a bathing area in the corner, as well as a cooking area right in
front of me… We sat outside as the sun slowly sunk over the hills, listening to
the scratchy radio that served as the entertainment as the sun set on us…
Understanding that the light they brought out to do our measurements is
probably rarely used by this family… Watching the kids run and chase each other
around the plot of land, because there isn’t much else to do… Making eye
contact with the young girl, only to have her quickly shift her eyes to the
ground while smiling… Wondering what happened to this family during the huge
rain storm we had last Saturday… These people live maybe a 15 minute drive from
my front door, but they live a completely different life from me. And that
makes my heart hurt a little.
Yesterday morning, I found myself angry at my job at school…
Frustrated by kids who I wanted to know more than they do, and confused about
why it had to be MY job to teach all these kids to read. Yes, I want them to be
able to read… I just didn’t want to be the one to do it. “God, I don’t like
this calling. I know I don’t really get to say that. But it’s how I feel! I
don’t want to be the one that you asked to do this job.”
But then I venture across the road… Where plenty of our
children live… and see two kids who I would gladly sit with in the dirt and try
to sound out words. We could use a few books to read over and over, getting
them excited about reading, and write new words in the dirt when these books
got old.
It shouldn’t be any different in my classroom. When I stop
for a minute and think about where Sandra goes home to every night or what
Belinda already accomplished in the morning before she made it to school, it
makes me feel a little better about sitting next to them and trying to get them
to read to me, because these words might be the key to their futures. When I
remember that Evelyn, John, Dora, and Abigail were rescued by City of Refuge
because they were in living situations where their basic needs weren’t being
met, I realize that it’s not a hindrance to be leading their reading groups,
but a blessing. It’s still not where I would necessarily choose for myself in
this world, but that doesn’t make it bad. It does make it hard… But hard
doesn’t equal bad.
Then I remember that my job virtually ends on March 29th…
After that point, Caty will be here for a week (during which I will only be in
school 2 or 3 days), then the students have a week of studying for final exams,
during which I don’t hold classes, and then there is a week of final exams
before Term 2 ends. After a three-week break ending in the middle of May (at
which point there are 4 weeks until I leave), I will be training the teacher
(sweet Nina, whom we all adore!) who will take my job once I leave. Eventually,
I will be handing things over to her as I begin to disengage and create a
little bit of a distance between myself and the school so that I can
emotionally deal with leaving. On June 8th, I board a plane to
Spokane. Wait… What?! How does that all come so fast?! That leaves me with no
much time to establish a routine and program that can continue to bring success
for these kids… They are the ones who will be here even after I leave, and it’s
my job to set them up for success with that!
I can’t think too much about that or I freak out… Always
feeling like I should be doing more, always feel like it’s my job to fix
everything, always feeling like the weight lies on my shoulders. But, thank
God, it doesn’t… None of it does… I am simply a tool that is being used to do
God’s work in this classroom, not the one doing it myself… Not the one in
charge… Not the one who knows the futures of all these students and not the one
giving them strength to make it through every day. That doesn’t mean I’m
totally off the hook, but it does help bring down my heart rate a little.
“It’s good, everything will turn out like it should… I know that I’m
gonna get it a little bit right, a little bit wrong, still I’m gonna sing my
song it’s good, so good, like it should be…”-Katelyn Tarver, “It’s Good”
Thankful that I have the grace to sing this song… The
ability to know that no matter what, He makes all things work together for His
good…
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