Africa

Internet here is scarce, so this is what I have written over my time here! Hopefully I will get internet here this weekend but we'll see. Much love to you all!

Blog1

September 6, 2012

It’s a little crazy that today is September 6^th,  because I feel like September 5^th didn’t exist.. I spent the whole thing either in the air, terrified/confused at the chaos of the Ghanaian airport, or deliriously telling Autumn, Stacy, and John about how incredible Anna’s wedding was this weekend. But I am HERE and in Ghana, safe and loving it. I feel totally spoiled because my roommate, Holly, and I were able to move into the BRAND NEW guest house today… Featuring a kitchen, living room, very weirdly shaped bathroom (the sink is right over the edge of the counter, it’s just a little confusing), and a much stronger fan J I slept in the old volunteer house for one night but they just finished this area so we were able to move in today after dinner.

My flights went super smoothly, even though the idea of at-gate security in Amsterdam seems so weird to me. How many times do they have to check and make sure I have my passport? The amount of security that goes into international travel really is incredible… To get to Florida, all I have to do is show my ID twice! No show your passport, boarding pass, visa, spin around 3 times, do a cartwheel, and down your water bottle before you go through security only to forget to refill it before you leave Amsterdam. I was able to get some internet for a while in Amsterdam which was great, but now I will have to wait until at least the weekend to get this guy up and posted on the blog. Everything here is pre-paid, so I have to wait to get a modem cord and credits for the internet before I can use it. I also realized about half-way through my flight from Amsterdam to Ghana that City of Refuge probably doesn’t have wireless (I was correct, they don’t), so my iPad pretty much does me no good until I am back in the States (I doubt I will be able to find any wireless in the city, but I will bring it with me just in case!). I am just very glad I had the foresight to download Skype, bring my webcam, and have my dad (thanks dad!) get a headset with a microphone so I can still use Skype while I’m here (once I get internet set up, that is). If anyone wants to contribute to my internet/phone fund so I can talk to you while I am here, feel free ;)

I am really excited for school to start here- I have only been to one day of training but I’m so excited to actually work with kids and take data and use it (Kim, your text was the last one I saw in the States before I turned off my phone… I would have loved a video about data!), and TEACH! I will get to spend the first few weeks of school observing classrooms and assessing kids to try and figure out who my caseload for the year will be… Ohhhh I get so excited just thinking about it. The kids here are all total lovers – they just want to hug you and have you pick them up and have the world feel right. It’s really precious, but also serves as a constant reminder of the lack of love that most of these children received when they were young that they are so desperately trying to make up for now.

Though I have done so much crying over the last week (at home, in the arms of my best friends, outside Anna’s bridal cottage, on the plane, in the airport.. some of them not the most convenient places), I have kept saying that I was so excited to actually be here… And that still stands true. Yes, the food is different (I ate oatmeal for breakfast this morning… For those who have lived with me, I’m sure you have at some point heard me complain about my strong distaste of oatmeal. Looks like that’s coming to an end!) and everyone feels so very far away and it’s HOT (not like melt your skin off hot, but a constant muggy/warm and enough to get pretty miserable in the middle of the day) but there is also a lot of laughter as Holly and I talk in British accents while playing Monopoly Deal and dance across our living room hoping the people having a meeting on the house porch across from us can see… Even in the farest away of places, there is hope. And if anyone can show me hope, it’s these kids.

In training today, Autumn referred to the Americans on staff as missionaries… Which we are. It’s just so crazy to be someone whom that term applies to... Someone called out and sent across the world to love and to proclaim the grace that is Jesus. Right now, it sounds like a lot of fun… But I know that soon, being here will feel hard. It will feel lonely and far away and much too big for me. But trust has got me this far and I pray that continues and that God continues to provide.

Talking to Anna’s fellow bridesmaid Rachel Mahar at the rehearsal dinner on Saturday, I was saying that one of my biggest fears in coming over here is wondering where to find community and what that will look like here. While that question still remains unanswered, although this first day has been a good start, Rachel told me “That will definitely be hard, but I really have a sense of peace for you in that. I think there’s something planned out for you.” Hearing her say these things was so encouraging to me, that something tells her it’s going to be alright. And it will be, even if it may be different from what I am used to.

So here’s to ADVENTURE, love, and laughter… And to Africa, my new home. May it soon begin to feel this way.

(I have one picture of the sunset here, but in the packing/unpacking/repacking to move process, I have no idea where my camera is. Once I find it I’ll upload it! Both the sunset tonight and on the plane were so beautiful… This is the perfect place to revel in the simplicity and beauty of things such as this.)

Blog2

Hello Friends,

Today is September 9^th, which means I have been in Africa for less than 4 days total… But it feels as though I have been here for so much longer. Most of that comes from that fact that one is not left with much of a choice other than to dive head-first into activity here as usual. Thursday & Friday were staff training, yesterday was a party & house dedication, and today was church in the morning and a little work in the afternoon.

Yesterday for the party we had the blessing of 2 families, the Beebe’s and the O’Leary’s come in to spend the day here. The Beebe’s are a missionary family living in Ghana for 2 years, and all 5 of their boys are coming to school at Faith Roots in this year. The mom, Robin, is working at our school, serving as a sort of assistant principal and teacher mentor. Her conversation is consistently honest and open about her love of children, her struggles and triumphs in living her, and her constant faith in the work her family is doing here. Being able to spend time with her boys (between the ages of, I believe, 4 and 17?) was quite a treat as well, including playing a game of Murder in the Dark at my & Holly’s new house to round out the night.

The other family that was here for the day was the O’Leary family. Sydney O’Leary is a 13-year old girl who raises money for the organization their family started called Feeding the Orphans. I have gotten a few different stories about  the origins of the organization, but she helps raise money to sponsor orphanages in Ghana and India, including raising enough money to build and open a second children’s home at City of Refuge. Their orphan population increased almost 100% this summer, as they went from 19 children to 36 children… Meaning that since July, they have rescued 17 children from child slavery. I am just getting to meet and know these people (I am realizing that people are much harder to tell apart when they don’t have hair!!!), I am already so amazed at how relaxed and at home these children seem here. Most have only been here for a few months but physically, they are thriving. I think there is still a lot of healing to be done in these children, but meeting their physical and social needs is the first step. Now that there is a second children’s home open, all of the children have their own bed (though some have never had a bed before in their life!) and there is adequate room for them to eat, play, and live the life of a child! It is such a sweet thing to witness. I spent yesterday afternoon just sitting on the new couch with different children climbing all over me… Usually, sweet Gabriel, who also sat with me at chapel today and watched TV with me later. I brought my camera out for the first time and seeing the kids (who are totally used to cameras by this point) smile HUGE smiles and then immediately say “Let me see!” They know that digital cameras mean they get to see their own faces, it’s pretty precious. One of the boys, John, is quite the little photographer, moving people around and telling them what to do to get the best picture. It was so fun seeing them be so excited about having a new home with nametags on their clothes cupboards and a space to call their own.

Today, we were TIRED… I fell asleep this morning after chapel and Holly is sleeping in our room now. Tomorrow we are to spend the day at school prepping, but because of construction (er, building… my classroom is in the new wing so it’s still getting finished), there is not a lot that can be done over there right now. We tried going over this afternoon but we ended up just looking at books for a while (I spent some time examining Canter’s Assertive Discipline… I have mixed feelings about it, but I have heard multiple teachers in the States sing its praises) and then peeking in my classroom. Holly’s still doesn’t have a ceiling finished (there is a roof, but they are putting in a ceiling as well… If that makes sense?) so I suppose I can’t complain! I will be praying that enough progress is made that we will be able to have an effective first day of school on Tuesday!

One of my biggest struggles in adjusting to life here (aside from the dang roosters that start talking to us at 5:30 every morning) has been trying to understand the Ghanaian accent. All of the teachers at school speak English, and most of the kids are starting to come along in their language, but understanding the accent is so difficult… Autumn told the staff that it took her 3 months to be able to effectively understand what people are saying. I am crossing my fingers that it doesn’t take me that long, but I’m sure it will… I had an experience on Friday where I was trying to communicate with the other resource room teacher (she is really more of an ELD teacher though) and I was just not being able to understand her… And unfortunately, neither could Holly. She was able to write/draw what she was trying to explain and we made it work, but I felt so bad that I had such a hard time figuring it out.

This afternoon, I read Mo Willems’ book “The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog” to three of the youngest kids here. I love Mo Willems and pretty much all of his books, and I have three of them here with me… But I realized that this book in particular is really only funny if you know what a hot dog is! These kids have never had hot dogs before… So the little duckling asking “Does it taste like chicken?” is just confusing to them, and not at all funny. Even asking them to tell me what the (very clearly) angry pigeon was feeling, they all started with “happy” because it’s what they are essentially trained to respond. When I asked them what made them angry or sad, all they said was “When someone beat’s me.” First of all, it makes me so sad that these kids have experienced beatings in the first place… And then that the only feeling they connect with sadness is physical pain. Anna has explained the frustration in a lack of connection with emotions and feelings within the culture here… It is so much more normal to simply push bad feelings away than to cope with them… But I just wish the kids could know that feeling is ok. I am no psychologist, though in these moments I wish I was, but I hope that I can find appropriate ways in school to connect to the children’s emotions and feelings, other than just “I’m fine!” (the typical answer you get when asking “How are you?”)

Already I find myself making so many comments and having so many thoughts of “After Christmas I’ll bring such and such back” or “At Christmas I can’t wait to do this”… I haven’t even been here for a week yet and school hasn’t started, I can’t be thinking three months down the road! Part of it has come from feeling like I’ve been here so much longer than I have… And part of it comes from not being able to have any communication with home yet. Whenever this actually gets posted, I will be thankful…  That could be tomorrow, or it could be in 3 weeks when Stacy & Johnbull get back from their trip to Italy. But I feel so selfish in these desires when other teachers have never used a computer, and the people these children call their family are all at City of Refuge… I am thankful that leaving home and being away is challenging, because it reminds me how rich my life is at home. I am blessed with friendships from many chapters of my life, all of whom I miss dearly. I was frustrated today when I realized that an e-mail I thought I sent to a number of people in Amsterdam didn’t actually go through…  I also keep remembering that being here means I will miss things than are REALLY important to me, such as Tricia and Jesse’s wedding next soon… I am so thankful they got engaged before I left (with 2 days to spare!) so that I was able to find out in real-time. However, being here on that day, even though it is 9 months away, is going to be so hard for me.

I sit here, looking out my barred window, and see a vast array of grasses and trees, a rocky mountain in the distance, and Miracle, JJ, and Kaleb playing with beach balls… I know that this is where I am supposed to be. I know that my heart will never be the same, even after being here for only a few short days. But I pray that this journey to making City of Refuge my home continues as well, for I truly believe that I can have more than one home… Having only one would be neglecting the other places that had molded my heart. And my heart longs for them too much to make me believe that those places are not home as well.

Blog3

So as most of you know, my whole purpose in coming to Ghana was to come teach special ed here… Throughout the training and meeting the kids at City of Refuge, I was so excited to get to work with these kids 1 on 1 and try and unlock their little brains.

Apparently God had a different plan… At least for now.

On Monday morning (the day before school starts, a day that was meant to be doing classroom prep and a lot of cleaning), Autumn came to me and told me that the P2 (Primary 2… Pretty much the equivalent of 2^nd grade) teacher had a family emergency so she had to quit her job, and then asked if I would be willing to take the job for now. She said she would try and figure out when they could do interviews to try and fill the position… But I am not sure what the likelihood of that happening is. During this conversation, my heart rate didn’t even go up at all… I feel like it should have been racing and I should have been freaking out. But somehow, that wasn’t my reaction….Who knows why. But I got to work looking at curriculum and trying to figure out what I was going to do with 24 second graders the next day! Holly and I ate a lot of peanut butter M&Ms last night and did our best to figure out what to do with our classes. Things became more difficult when we realized that the only tape we had at school, and since our walls are dusty cement, taping on them doesn’t work very well unless you use packing tape… and even that doesn’t work very well. So we improvised… And somehow today we survived the first day!

School in Ghana is completely different from school in the United States… I am trying to find similarities, but there aren’t many. Which means that I have a LOT of learning to do, because the methodologies that I use do not always work with these kids. And while there are some things in the Ghanaian school/culture that I strongly don’t agree with (like the lack of feelings, the struggle with critical thinking and problem solving, and the lack of imaginative play), I only have these kids for a year (and I don’t even know if I will be in this class the whole time) and I cannot change them or their culture or the culture of the school. I know that Autumn will support me in things I do, assuming that they are in the best interest of the children, but teaching them and getting them to understand what I am saying, especially with a language barrier, is already proving to be very difficult. I am trying to keep in mind that today was just the first day of school, but I know there is a lot of growing that needs to happen… And I just hope I am able to find a way to reach these kids.

Side note: Red light, green light has never been as high on my list of favorite games as it was today. Total win with the kids… They thought it was hilarious.

Going into this classroom not knowing if I will be here for two weeks or the whole year, I am trying to be in the mindset that these are my kids and I am setting a foundation for the whole school year. If I leave, then hopefully the kids will have a foundation… But right now it doesn’t feel like I am making much of a foundation at all… So I am praying that God knows what the heck He is doing with me in this classroom!!

Even after day 1 though, I am affirmed in my calling to SpEd… I find myself so drawn to the kids who need the extra love and support. While I know that I am a capable general ed teacher (even though it doesn’t feel like it right now), it’s totally not what I am passionate about. So in the midst of chaos, I am affirmed that I know what I love to do and that, eventually, I will have the opportunity to do it.

On days like this, all I want to do is come home and check Facebook and send out e-mails and text Caty… But none of those are options. Besides home. Today I had students draw pictures of their homes (which mostly turned into them drawing the picture that I put on the board), and I drew a picture of Holly and I sitting on our bunk beds because I wanted to draw my home here… “Home” is still certainly a work in progress, but I suppose none of this world is truly my home…

Blog4

Three days of school down and I am exhausted… I knew teaching in a different culture would be hard, but it seriously is! I have SO much to learn in this place, and God is certainly humbling me and my education degree! Sometimes I feel like I am starting over at Square 1 when I try and learn how to run a classroom with few resources, a really frustrating and simply curriculum, and the culture of a Ghanaian school… I have so much processing to do. And since my job is kind of in-limbo as I stay in 2^nd grade for the time being with the probability of being back in resource in a week and a half, life here just feels like it’s kind of happening around me and I am just kind of walking by faith on a day to day basis. Which is awesome, and probably really good for me. But also soooo stressful sometimes!

I would appreciate prayer for my wanting spirit that seems to be constantly around these last few days… Wanting internet, wanting food other than stew and rice, wanting FRUIT, wanting shelves for my classroom, wanting to be able to understand the children in my class, wanting the teaching methods I know to work, wanting this and wanting that… It has been really draining as I try to fight them off but they keep coming back.