Internet here is scarce, so this is what I have written over my time here! Hopefully I will get internet here this weekend but we'll see. Much love to you all!
Blog1
September 6, 2012
It’s a little crazy that today is September 6th, because I feel like September 5th
didn’t exist.. I spent the whole thing either in the air, terrified/confused at
the chaos of the Ghanaian airport, or deliriously telling Autumn, Stacy, and
John about how incredible Anna’s wedding was this weekend. But I am HERE and in
Ghana, safe and loving it. I feel totally spoiled because my roommate, Holly,
and I were able to move into the BRAND NEW guest house today… Featuring a
kitchen, living room, very weirdly shaped bathroom (the sink is right over the
edge of the counter, it’s just a little confusing), and a much stronger fan J I slept in the old
volunteer house for one night but they just finished this area so we were able
to move in today after dinner.
My flights went super smoothly, even though the idea of
at-gate security in Amsterdam seems so weird to me. How many times do they have
to check and make sure I have my passport? The amount of security that goes
into international travel really is incredible… To get to Florida, all I have
to do is show my ID twice! No show your passport, boarding pass, visa, spin
around 3 times, do a cartwheel, and down your water bottle before you go
through security only to forget to refill it before you leave Amsterdam. I was
able to get some internet for a while in Amsterdam which was great, but now I
will have to wait until at least the weekend to get this guy up and posted on
the blog. Everything here is pre-paid, so I have to wait to get a modem cord
and credits for the internet before I can use it. I also realized about
half-way through my flight from Amsterdam to Ghana that City of Refuge probably
doesn’t have wireless (I was correct, they don’t), so my iPad pretty much does
me no good until I am back in the States (I doubt I will be able to find any
wireless in the city, but I will bring it with me just in case!). I am just
very glad I had the foresight to download Skype, bring my webcam, and have my
dad (thanks dad!) get a headset with a microphone so I can still use Skype
while I’m here (once I get internet set up, that is). If anyone wants to
contribute to my internet/phone fund so I can talk to you while I am here, feel
free ;)
I am really excited for school to start here- I have only
been to one day of training but I’m so excited to actually work with kids and
take data and use it (Kim, your text was
the last one I saw in the States before I turned off my phone… I would have
loved a video about data!), and TEACH! I will get to spend the first few
weeks of school observing classrooms and assessing kids to try and figure out
who my caseload for the year will be… Ohhhh I get so excited just thinking
about it. The kids here are all total lovers – they just want to hug you and
have you pick them up and have the world feel right. It’s really precious, but
also serves as a constant reminder of the lack of love that most of these
children received when they were young that they are so desperately trying to
make up for now.
Though I have done so much crying over the last week (at
home, in the arms of my best friends, outside Anna’s bridal cottage, on the
plane, in the airport.. some of them not the most convenient places), I have
kept saying that I was so excited to actually be here… And that still stands
true. Yes, the food is different (I ate oatmeal for breakfast this morning… For
those who have lived with me, I’m sure you have at some point heard me complain
about my strong distaste of oatmeal. Looks like that’s coming to an end!) and
everyone feels so very far away and it’s HOT (not like melt your skin off hot,
but a constant muggy/warm and enough to get pretty miserable in the middle of
the day) but there is also a lot of laughter as Holly and I talk in British
accents while playing Monopoly Deal and dance across our living room hoping the
people having a meeting on the house porch across from us can see… Even in the
farest away of places, there is hope. And if anyone can show me hope, it’s
these kids.
In training today, Autumn referred to the Americans on staff
as missionaries… Which we are. It’s just so crazy to be someone whom that term
applies to... Someone called out and sent across the world to love and to
proclaim the grace that is Jesus. Right now, it sounds like a lot of fun… But I
know that soon, being here will feel hard. It will feel lonely and far away and
much too big for me. But trust has got me this far and I pray that continues
and that God continues to provide.
Talking to Anna’s fellow bridesmaid Rachel Mahar at the
rehearsal dinner on Saturday, I was saying that one of my biggest fears in
coming over here is wondering where to find community and what that will look
like here. While that question still remains unanswered, although this first
day has been a good start, Rachel told me “That will definitely be hard, but I
really have a sense of peace for you in that. I think there’s something planned
out for you.” Hearing her say these things was so encouraging to me, that something
tells her it’s going to be alright. And it will be, even if it may be different
from what I am used to.
So here’s to ADVENTURE, love, and laughter… And to Africa,
my new home. May it soon begin to feel this way.
(I have one picture of the sunset here, but in the
packing/unpacking/repacking to move process, I have no idea where my camera is.
Once I find it I’ll upload it! Both the sunset tonight and on the plane were so
beautiful… This is the perfect place to revel in the simplicity and beauty of
things such as this.)
Blog2
Hello Friends,
Today is September 9th, which means I have been
in Africa for less than 4 days total… But it feels as though I have been here
for so much longer. Most of that comes from that fact that one is not left with
much of a choice other than to dive head-first into activity here as usual.
Thursday & Friday were staff training, yesterday was a party & house
dedication, and today was church in the morning and a little work in the
afternoon.
Yesterday for the party we had the blessing of 2 families,
the Beebe’s and the O’Leary’s come in to spend the day here. The Beebe’s are a
missionary family living in Ghana for 2 years, and all 5 of their boys are
coming to school at Faith Roots in this year. The mom, Robin, is working at our
school, serving as a sort of assistant principal and teacher mentor. Her
conversation is consistently honest and open about her love of children, her
struggles and triumphs in living her, and her constant faith in the work her
family is doing here. Being able to spend time with her boys (between the ages
of, I believe, 4 and 17?) was quite a treat as well, including playing a game
of Murder in the Dark at my & Holly’s new house to round out the night.
The other family that was here for the day was the O’Leary
family. Sydney O’Leary is a 13-year old girl who raises money for the
organization their family started called Feeding the Orphans. I have gotten a
few different stories about the origins
of the organization, but she helps raise money to sponsor orphanages in Ghana
and India, including raising enough money to build and open a second children’s
home at City of Refuge. Their orphan population increased almost 100% this
summer, as they went from 19 children to 36 children… Meaning that since July,
they have rescued 17 children from child slavery. I am just getting to meet and
know these people (I am realizing that people are much harder to tell apart
when they don’t have hair!!!), I am already so amazed at how relaxed and at
home these children seem here. Most have only been here for a few months but
physically, they are thriving. I think there is still a lot of healing to be
done in these children, but meeting their physical and social needs is the
first step. Now that there is a second children’s home open, all of the children
have their own bed (though some have never had a bed before in their life!) and
there is adequate room for them to eat, play, and live the life of a child! It
is such a sweet thing to witness. I spent yesterday afternoon just sitting on
the new couch with different children climbing all over me… Usually, sweet
Gabriel, who also sat with me at chapel today and watched TV with me later. I
brought my camera out for the first time and seeing the kids (who are totally
used to cameras by this point) smile HUGE smiles and then immediately say “Let
me see!” They know that digital cameras mean they get to see their own faces,
it’s pretty precious. One of the boys, John, is quite the little photographer,
moving people around and telling them what to do to get the best picture. It
was so fun seeing them be so excited about having a new home with nametags on
their clothes cupboards and a space to call their own.
Today, we were TIRED… I fell asleep this morning after
chapel and Holly is sleeping in our room now. Tomorrow we are to spend the day
at school prepping, but because of construction (er, building… my classroom is
in the new wing so it’s still getting finished), there is not a lot that can be
done over there right now. We tried going over this afternoon but we ended up
just looking at books for a while (I spent some time examining Canter’s
Assertive Discipline… I have mixed feelings about it, but I have heard multiple
teachers in the States sing its praises) and then peeking in my classroom.
Holly’s still doesn’t have a ceiling finished (there is a roof, but they are
putting in a ceiling as well… If that makes sense?) so I suppose I can’t
complain! I will be praying that enough progress is made that we will be able
to have an effective first day of school on Tuesday!
One of my biggest struggles in adjusting to life here (aside
from the dang roosters that start talking to us at 5:30 every morning) has been
trying to understand the Ghanaian accent. All of the teachers at school speak
English, and most of the kids are starting to come along in their language, but
understanding the accent is so difficult… Autumn told the staff that it took
her 3 months to be able to effectively understand what people are saying. I am
crossing my fingers that it doesn’t take me that long, but I’m sure it will… I
had an experience on Friday where I was trying to communicate with the other
resource room teacher (she is really more of an ELD teacher though) and I was
just not being able to understand her… And unfortunately, neither could Holly.
She was able to write/draw what she was trying to explain and we made it work,
but I felt so bad that I had such a hard time figuring it out.
This afternoon, I read Mo Willems’ book “The Pigeon Finds a
Hot Dog” to three of the youngest kids here. I love Mo Willems and pretty much
all of his books, and I have three of them here with me… But I realized that
this book in particular is really only funny if you know what a hot dog is!
These kids have never had hot dogs before… So the little duckling asking “Does
it taste like chicken?” is just confusing to them, and not at all funny. Even
asking them to tell me what the (very clearly) angry pigeon was feeling, they
all started with “happy” because it’s what they are essentially trained to
respond. When I asked them what made them angry or sad, all they said was “When
someone beat’s me.” First of all, it makes me so sad that these kids have
experienced beatings in the first place… And then that the only feeling they
connect with sadness is physical pain. Anna has explained the frustration in a
lack of connection with emotions and feelings within the culture here… It is so
much more normal to simply push bad feelings away than to cope with them… But I
just wish the kids could know that feeling is ok. I am no psychologist, though
in these moments I wish I was, but I hope that I can find appropriate ways in
school to connect to the children’s emotions and feelings, other than just “I’m
fine!” (the typical answer you get when asking “How are you?”)
Already I find myself making so many comments and having so
many thoughts of “After Christmas I’ll bring such and such back” or “At
Christmas I can’t wait to do this”… I haven’t even been here for a week yet and
school hasn’t started, I can’t be thinking three months down the road! Part of
it has come from feeling like I’ve been here so much longer than I have… And
part of it comes from not being able to have any communication with home yet.
Whenever this actually gets posted, I will be thankful… That could be tomorrow, or it could be in 3
weeks when Stacy & Johnbull get back from their trip to Italy. But I feel
so selfish in these desires when other teachers have never used a computer, and
the people these children call their family are all at City of Refuge… I am thankful
that leaving home and being away is challenging, because it reminds me how rich
my life is at home. I am blessed with friendships from many chapters of my
life, all of whom I miss dearly. I was frustrated today when I realized that an
e-mail I thought I sent to a number of people in Amsterdam didn’t actually go
through… I also keep remembering that
being here means I will miss things than are REALLY important to me, such as
Tricia and Jesse’s wedding next soon… I am so thankful they got engaged before
I left (with 2 days to spare!) so that I was able to find out in real-time.
However, being here on that day, even though it is 9 months away, is going to
be so hard for me.
I sit here, looking out my barred window, and see a vast
array of grasses and trees, a rocky mountain in the distance, and Miracle, JJ,
and Kaleb playing with beach balls… I know that this is where I am supposed to
be. I know that my heart will never be the same, even after being here for only
a few short days. But I pray that this journey to making City of Refuge my home
continues as well, for I truly believe that I can have more than one home…
Having only one would be neglecting the other places that had molded my heart.
And my heart longs for them too much to make me believe that those places are
not home as well.
Blog3
So as most of you know, my whole purpose in coming to Ghana
was to come teach special ed here… Throughout the training and meeting the kids
at City of Refuge, I was so excited to get to work with these kids 1 on 1 and
try and unlock their little brains.
Apparently God had a different plan… At least for now.
On Monday morning (the day before school starts, a day that
was meant to be doing classroom prep and a lot of cleaning), Autumn came to me
and told me that the P2 (Primary 2… Pretty much the equivalent of 2nd
grade) teacher had a family emergency so she had to quit her job, and then
asked if I would be willing to take the job for now. She said she would try and
figure out when they could do interviews to try and fill the position… But I am
not sure what the likelihood of that happening is. During this conversation, my
heart rate didn’t even go up at all… I feel like it should have been racing and
I should have been freaking out. But somehow, that wasn’t my reaction….Who
knows why. But I got to work looking at curriculum and trying to figure out
what I was going to do with 24 second graders the next day! Holly and I ate a
lot of peanut butter M&Ms last night and did our best to figure out what to
do with our classes. Things became more difficult when we realized that the
only tape we had at school, and since our walls are dusty cement, taping on
them doesn’t work very well unless you use packing tape… and even that doesn’t
work very well. So we improvised… And somehow today we survived the first day!
School in Ghana is completely different from school in the
United States… I am trying to find similarities, but there aren’t many. Which
means that I have a LOT of learning to do, because the methodologies that I use
do not always work with these kids. And while there are some things in the
Ghanaian school/culture that I strongly don’t agree with (like the lack of
feelings, the struggle with critical thinking and problem solving, and the lack
of imaginative play), I only have these kids for a year (and I don’t even know
if I will be in this class the whole time) and I cannot change them or their
culture or the culture of the school. I know that Autumn will support me in
things I do, assuming that they are in the best interest of the children, but
teaching them and getting them to understand what I am saying, especially with
a language barrier, is already proving to be very difficult. I am trying to
keep in mind that today was just the first day of school, but I know there is a
lot of growing that needs to happen… And I just hope I am able to find a way to
reach these kids.
Side note: Red light, green light has never been as high on
my list of favorite games as it was today. Total win with the kids… They
thought it was hilarious.
Going into this classroom not knowing if I will be here for
two weeks or the whole year, I am trying to be in the mindset that these are my
kids and I am setting a foundation for the whole school year. If I leave, then
hopefully the kids will have a foundation… But right now it doesn’t feel like I
am making much of a foundation at all… So I am praying that God knows what the
heck He is doing with me in this classroom!!
Even after day 1 though, I am affirmed in my calling to
SpEd… I find myself so drawn to the kids who need the extra love and support.
While I know that I am a capable general ed teacher (even though it doesn’t
feel like it right now), it’s totally not what I am passionate about. So in the
midst of chaos, I am affirmed that I know what I love to do and that,
eventually, I will have the opportunity to do it.
On days like this, all I want to do is come home and check
Facebook and send out e-mails and text Caty… But none of those are options.
Besides home. Today I had students draw pictures of their homes (which mostly
turned into them drawing the picture that I put on the board), and I drew a
picture of Holly and I sitting on our bunk beds because I wanted to draw my
home here… “Home” is still certainly a work in progress, but I suppose none of
this world is truly my home…
Blog4
Three days of school down and I am exhausted… I knew
teaching in a different culture would be hard, but it seriously is! I have SO
much to learn in this place, and God is certainly humbling me and my education
degree! Sometimes I feel like I am starting over at Square 1 when I try and
learn how to run a classroom with few resources, a really frustrating and
simply curriculum, and the culture of a Ghanaian school… I have so much
processing to do. And since my job is kind of in-limbo as I stay in 2nd
grade for the time being with the probability of being back in resource in a
week and a half, life here just feels like it’s kind of happening around me and
I am just kind of walking by faith on a day to day basis. Which is awesome, and
probably really good for me. But also soooo stressful sometimes!
I would appreciate prayer for my wanting spirit that seems
to be constantly around these last few days… Wanting internet, wanting food
other than stew and rice, wanting FRUIT, wanting shelves for my classroom,
wanting to be able to understand the children in my class, wanting the teaching
methods I know to work, wanting this and wanting that… It has been really
draining as I try to fight them off but they keep coming back.
