I am a (student) teacher.

Writing that title sounds so odd to me. "Student teacher"... I was so excited to finally be able to put that as the reason I was signing in to Finch Elementary. It wasn't just a "practicum" anymore, it was go-time! The culmination of my last four years at Whitworth...

And it hasn't all been pretty.

We have a lot of transition going on, particularly in my afternoon class, as we have lost three and gained three students in the last four weeks. My teacher was gone for two days this week and one of the days was ROUGH for me. I finished the morning feeling disheartened and flustered... But there is always another day (or afternoon, in the world of half-day kindergarten!).

At 4:00 every Thursday I get coffee with a group of girls with whom I swap stories and tribulations and successes. We laugh and stress and make sure no one forgets due dates for assignments. I was talking to a professor this afternoon about her group of friends that she stays in contact with from college, and it makes me remember how blessed and privileged I feel to be a part of Whitworth and a group that know and loves me well.

I am testing and observing and meeting new faces and hand-holding. I am learning and listening and experimenting. I am stressing and editing and preparing. But I am teaching... and that is still so odd to me.

My greatest challenge rests in remembering that I am not teaching for me... I am teaching out of a calling and for those around me. For my students now and my students in the future... Not to pass the TPA or get a degree. And that puts my life in a whole different perspective.

I miss San Francisco like crazy. I miss sitting on Margo's bed blowing my nose and eating cupcakes just so we can send pictures to her grandsons.. I miss watching the sunset on the beach and putting my toes in the water. I miss Rosa Parks Elementary and my students there. I miss the people that I traveled with and was surrounded by every morning and evening. I even miss the Muni... Especially when I have to buy gas or scrape the snow off my car. I have a map of the city pinned next to my desk, and the memories flood back as I look at it. I love the star that lies smack dab in the middle of the city, representing the hotel we stayed at. I also love remembering that we biked to Sausalito... Which is not close!!! But alas, I am here and a piece of my heart rests in San Francisco (probably in the Boudin bakery when I died a little as they told me they were out of loaves of bread shaped like teddy bears. Who runs out of teddy bear bread, honestly?!).