Up-and-Down

Every week at Bible Study, Robin (see “Names” post) asks us what our “Word for the week” is… A word that describes how we are coming into the night, how we have been, what we are worried about, how we are feeling… Anything. Last week, I cheated a little and used the compound word “up-and-down”. Thank you, hyphens. But really, this was the only thing that captured my week… Whirlwind? Stressful? Unexpected? I guess those could have worked too.

Here is a mini-synopsis of the teacher situation at my school…

1.       Day before school starts, 2^nd grade teacher has to quit for a family emergency. I get asked to teach the class until Autumn can find a replacement.

2.       The end of week 2, we learn the teacher is going to be able to come back. I am told that someone else (my co-teacher) will cover Monday & Tuesday and the teacher will be back Wednesday.

3.       Teacher never comes the next week (week 3), other teacher is gone Thursday and Friday, I cover for 2^nd grade on Thursday. I get driven out of the classroom in tears and Autumn has to come cover for me while I get my act together.

4.       This week (week 4), 2^nd grade teacher finally comes back.

5.       Last Friday, 1^st grade teacher has to quit because her mom is sick. One of the kindergarten aides has been covering in the class (because the teacher missed 3 days) and was expected to continue in there.

6.       This week, the kindergarten aide doesn’t show up to school and doesn’t answer her phone when Autumn calls! Meaning that my co-teacher and I have been switching off in the class covering…

So basically, right now, we don’t have a 1^st grade teacher. My classroom is still covered in wood shavings and carpentry projects, so I haven’t been able to do any small group work… I have been doing one-on-one instruction with 2 students on the days when I haven’t been covering for a class, but that has only been two-and-a-half days (of the 16 days we’ve had of school!). Needless to say, life is a little crazy.

I feel like the message God has been trying to get across to me is “Don’t get too comfortable in the role you imagine yourself having here… I used SpEd to bring you to this country, and now I will lead you where you need to go.” As though my purpose here isn’t just in my classroom… As though there is more to this journey for me. But I don’t know what that will look like or how it will play out during my time here. So for now, I will just walk in faith day by day, trusting that even when I am put in the most random and frustrating situations, there is a reason behind it all.

There have been good parts too, both in and out of the “classroom”… Holding Bismark’s hand as we walk up-and-down the football field, counting our steps in groups of 20. Seeing his face light up when we read our Social Story about being in school and he realizes it’s a book all about him. Listening to Theresa tell me that she wants to learn to read and write, even though she is 17 years old. Watching a fashion show at the Accra mall with Holly and Paul and being so confused when the models don’t even stop at the end of the runway. Sitting on the porch drinking tea and reading my book as the rain POURS down around me. Walking and talking with Miracle, seeing the cry for attention in his eyes. Finishing a beaded necklace that has been so frustrating for me to complete. Praying fervently with Holly, Autumn, John, and Stacy at the school after dinner, when everything is dark and everyone feels disheartened. Getting an e-mail from Ryan Miller, the pastor of Branches, and being reminded of how thankful I am for that place. Hearing from Margo and imagining the sweet Spokane life of the Long/McMurray family who all love the fall season so much. Seeing pictures of my sister and her boyfriend at homecoming, looking like they had so much fun. Playing “Ticket to Ride” at the Omorefe house and slowly revealing my scary-competitiveness to Holly, Autumn, and Stacy, all the while being reminded of “Trains” nights at the Compound and missing it dearly. Seeing Moses during lunch with a huge smile on his face and a hug waiting for me. The moment last night where I felt “How can I ever leave this place? There is so much work to be done here” and being so satisfied with the place I am at. There are up-moments, for sure.

I just pray that as my time here continues, I am able to finally settle into a routine, but not a routine that brings abut ruts and complacency… If two years at Branches taught me anything, it is to not settle for ordinary or comfortable. It is to break the order, to create friction, and to take it as good and meaningful… To mix things up from time to time. And certainly, there has been plenty of “mixing” in my time here already… May flexibility reign and may teachers be called forth to this school to be leaders! We need people to make this place work!!!

Internet Fast

This weekend I got so frustrated with myself for so easily falling back into the pattern of getting on the internet constantly, checking my e-mail and hoping for a measly notification of Facebook, probably from the Whitworth Club Volleyball Team saying “Open gym tonight at 7:30 in Graves!” I would spent time waiting for my e-mail to load only to receive an e-mail from “1000 Awesome Things” or “BECU Account Statements”… I don’t even use my BECU account. In fact, I tried to close it and the teller guy is a sweet-talker and got me to keep it open… Note that I haven’t made a deposit in there for probably 4 years. But alas, I got so frustrated at spending time (and money!) looking at nothing that I told Holly to hide our “internet stick” (I still don’t get how it works) from me until Friday.

That’s not to say that I don’t LOVE hearing from people—I do! And that’s why I check my e-mail and Facebook and blog (yes, I check my own blog. I have a strange obsession with looking at my view count and trying to guess who might be looking at it) as often as I do. I eagerly await replies from friends from home, e-mails with news or fun facts or random tidbits about the life that I am used to, wedding color schemes from Tricia, news of the students coming into Caty’s class before school, the first weeks of grad school from Callie Gordon, a blog about second grade from Kaitlyn… Even though these things feel so far away, I love to hear them. But I don’t love the feeling of being pulled away from my life here to find a tiny smidgen of comfort from home on a daily basis.

I brought letters and pictures with me, and my e-mail program on my computer lets me open up all my old Whitworth e-mails even without an internet connection, so I can reply and re-read and reminisce (thank goodness… that capability has gotten me through some hard nights here). But this week, I am trying to spend more time reading and writing and praying and being here, instead of missing or searching for home.

The first two weeks that I was here we didn’t have internet access at all, and it really wasn’t that big of a deal. I wrote a lot of blogs and e-mails and awaited the day when I could post or send them all, but even though everything here was new, not having the ability to get on wasn’t that big of a deal.

Even though now we have access to it pretty much any time we want, Holly rarely gets on. Part of it is her computer wasn’t working, plus the internet makes her computer freeze (Dad, I’m really glad I brought this one and not my one from school!), but never does she complain or really miss it much. I want to be more like her in that regard… Thankful for the messages and notes I do receive in time, but not sitting around waiting or hoping for them. Just taking things as they come.

A little piece of me wants to reach across this table and take the internet out of her computer and just check my e-mail… Just in case… But what is there now will be there on Friday. And if wanting the internet is my biggest craving or pull right now, then I have bigger issues to grapple with… Issues of materialism and satisfaction in the words of other and a desire to be acknowledged. I am re-reading Donald Miller’s “Searching for God Knows What” (which I believe I mentioned in an earlier post) and he speaks so much of the human desire to be validated by those around us… “Validation” was a word that the Bat Cave (Tricia, Devin, Callie, and myself) threw around as a joke for a long time in college… Teasing ourselves for our desire to have others say that what we are doing is good or right or meaningful. When I am online, I feel as though that’s what I am looking for, even from my closest friends… Words that say to me, “I am proud of you. You are doing something special. I still love you, even from afar.” Yet, I am a walking contradiction… I will say to you, “No, I’m not doing anything special. I’m just teaching… And sometimes not even that. I’m just following a calling.”

Not to say that it’s not a leap of faith. No, this life is not for everyone. Yes, things here are HARD. Some days are harder than others. But it’s like I want to hear these things only so that I have the opportunity to try and appear humble. So that I can say “Thank you, but really, I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do.” And that defeats the entire purpose.

So in case I have thoroughly confused you, about my thoughts from West Africa, let me summarize:

I love you all. So much. And I want to hear from you. So please keep writing. Tell me about your life – that stuff is my favorite to get.

Even when it feels far away. Even when I miss it. Even when I am waiting for a student to draw a triangle on a whiteboard and I have images of driving up to the Wandermere movie theater in Tricia’s car, even when I picture myself holding a Starbucks cup with a Pumpkin Spice Latte, even when I hear about teachers at home and wonder why I am in this place or if I’m even doing the right job or if I will even be a good teacher, here or in the States… I want to hear about it all. Please.

Thankful

Today was my first day doing special ed testing here! A lot of what I am going to be doing is explicit phonics instruction, because letter-sound correspondence is really challenging for kids here, especially the ones who have not been to school before. But I am so excited and thankful to be out of second grade and starting with a new slate!

This weekend I got the chance to go with Holly, Rosemary, Paul, and the Beebe family to a local river and spend the day swimming, going off the rope swing, and doing a little shopping at the nearby market. It was such a fun day and a huge blessing to be able to take some space from City of Refuge and just go laugh. Holly had me a little afraid that my legs were going to get bit by a crocodile, but we didn’t even have any fish sightings!

We haven’t had a 5-day school week yet so this week may prove to be very long, but I am hoping my classroom will get cleared out (all of the library shelves have been built in my classroom so there is wood and wood shavings all over) and I can actually start putting it to use!

PS- Thank you, Lisa Laurier, for having such a helpful textbook from your class! I had to level a book today and it was so nice to have the book with me! It’s already been used so much and I haven’t even started teaching yet.

Names

Since leaving for college, I have found it funny thinking about the “names” in the stories I tell. When I left for college, I had a certain set of people that I always talked about from home and I wanted to make sure my new friends knew who they were. When I went home from college, I had a certain set of “names” from school that I talked (well, talk) about to everyone at home.

For me, knowing other people’s “names” and the group of people that’s important to them is always something I have valued. I think it’s so fun to hear about the new friends my high school friends have made at college, and so fun to hear about the high school friends of my college friends.

But because of this, I’ve struggled when there are people I’m close with that I feel like don’t take the time to learn my new names. That was really hard for me, especially with people from high school, when I felt like I had to clarify “Tricia/Devin/Callie, my roommate” or “Erin, she was my RA but then I lived with her and now we’re still friends” or “Randi, we played volleyball together.” And it wasn’t that I hadn’t mentioned them before (sometimes many times), it’s just not something that some people value knowing or remembering.

I feel like I talk about a lot of people in these posts, but who they actually are remains very confusing. It’s easy to keep track of people here (though there are still children’s names I need to learn), but telling stories is confusing because there are people from so many different areas/sections of City of Refuge and surrounding ministries that are involved here every day. Plus, no one (besides Anna) knows any of them, and probably won’t meet any of them… meaning it’s not easy to be invested in learning about them. But I am here for a year, and I want people at home (from all chapters of my life) to know about those who are shaping me and teaching me. With that, here is a little mini-biography of my current “names.”

John & Stacy Omorefe- John and Stacy are the couple that started City of Refuge. They and their family live in a separate house on the campus where I go to eat breakfast and dinner every day. They have spent the last 2 weeks on a cruise ship in Europe (don’t worry, I’m not jealous at all) and will return back here on Tuesday. John grew up in Nigeria and Stacy is from the States.

JJ (8yrs), Caleb (6yrs), and Justice Omorefe (3yrs)- These are John & Stacy’s biological children. They all live here (in the Omorefe house, not the children’s home) and attend school at FRIA (Faith Roots International Academy, my school).

Miracle (10), Paul (14), Rosemary (15), and Nosa (? He’s an adult) Omorefe- These are John’s brothers and sisters that he took under his care when his father died. They all live with the Omorefe family and Rosemary does a lot of the cooking for us. Nosa is an electrician and a total lifesaver to have around. Currently, Holly and I can’t find the set of keys for the volunteer house (where we’re not actually living, just using the water while ours is shut off) so I think he’s not very happy with us. But I really don’t think we were the last to have them!

Autumn Buzzell- Autumn is the Principal of FRIA and lives with the Omorefe family. This is her third school year in Ghana. Originally, she came to tutor the 9 children City of Refuge had, but she ended up starting her own classroom for them and has since opened a school that local children attend. She is from Colorado/California, and I was able to meet her, John, and Stacy when I was in San Francisco last Jan term. Autumn is the epitome of the word “servant” and handles everything on this campus, from taking on the role of “Mama Autumn” when J&S are gone to dealing with parents who don’t speak English at school, doing it all with such grace and love.

Holly Stewart- Holly is my roommate and the other volunteer teacher at the school (working in the preschool). She grew up in California, has been in Ghana since July, and will stay through December. Because she was here for 2 months before I got here, she was a HUGE help in teaching me the ropes of this place and just being a support in all aspects of life here. She has been a huge blessing to have in my life here and it will be really difficult when she leaves in a few months (but I can’t be looking that far ahead!). We live in a guest house with just the two of us, meaning that our living room area (which only has a small dining table and 2 plastic chairs that we stole from outside) is typically covered with teaching supplies and mugs with leftover tea/coffee, plus maybe a few candy wrappers.

The Beebe Family- The Beebe’s are a missionary family that is serving in Ghana with an organization called Feeding the Orphans (FTO). Originally from Knoxville, they have moved here for 2 years. Their family consists of Robin, Reed, and their 5 boys Mason, Franklin, Weston, Braedon, and Godwin. Godwin was adopted from Ghana last year and is HILARIOUS- he is so cute but he talks with such a monotone voice that it’s just precious. All the boys attend FRIA and are working to figure out school life in Ghana (which is SO different than in the States). Robin serves as a teacher mentor at our school and is there a couple days a week observing classrooms and working with the teachers. She also hosts our weekly girls Bible Study which includes me, Holly, Autumn, Katie, and a woman named Angie.

Katie Batchelor- Katie is a recent high school grad who knows the Beebe’s from home and has come to live with them for two months here. She is helping out at the school and doing ministry work with them through FTO. She has the sweetest southern accent and sometimes I just like to listen to her talk. She also shares my love for pineapple, which I appreciate greatly.

Angie (I know her last name but I can’t think of it!)- I just met Angie last night for the first time but she is a missionary living about an hour and a half from us in Cape Coast, Ghana. She and her husband Paul also run a children’s home and she attends Bible study with us when she is able to make the trip out here.

I know I have also spoken about my co-teacher here, but I will leave the names of the other staff off of this blog. There have been some great high’s and great low’s already in working with this staff, as I try and figure out what they are saying with their accents and how students know how to learn here.

There are 36 (I think) children living in the Children’s Home right now, and I’m a little nervous to see how many names I can actually name…

Joel, Malvin, Edwin, Gamali, Amenyo, Gabriel, Portia, Hannah, Florence, Mary, Mary, Dora, Evelyn, Gracie, Abigail, Aggie, Valentina, Benard, Benard, Bismark, Bismark, John, John, Sami, Moses, Rafael, Rafael, Robert, Mershak, Alex, Ben, Enoch, Aaron… That’s 33. And I’m sure I’m forgetting some really obvious ones! Plus I had to have Holly/my camera help me out with a couple.

My typical school day schedule as a 2^nd grade teacher (which I am not anymore!):

4:30- Be woken up by the stupid roosters outside our window. Try very hard to go back to sleep.

6:01- Be re-woken up by my alarm after an hour and a half of lame sleep. Be mad at the roosters. Contemplate showering, usually decide it’s too early for cold water.

6:40- Walk to the Omorefe house for breakfast. Remember how I’m definitely not a morning person. Eat bread and drink hot water or tea because I’m still trying to not drink coffee. Crave Pleasant Blends anyway.

7:00- Frantically go back to my house and gather the 1,034 things I have to bring to school.

7:10- Leave for school, frantically write the schedule on the board and organize worksheets and think “I should have done more yesterday!”

7:45- School starts!

9:45- Think to myself “How am I going to make Language Arts last 45 more minutes? We’ve already been going for an hour.”

10:30- Send the kids to break. Usually give them 5-10 extra minutes for my own sanity.

2:00- Think to myself “Just one more hour…”

2:50- Mass cleaning chaos ensues, since SO much dirt & dust & mud get tracked in every day

2:59- Send the kids out the door!

Tuesday-Thursday we have meetings after school, Monday and Friday I stick around for a while to prep for the next day. Because we don’t have a ton of hands-on supplies, much space in the classroom, and critical thinking is basically nonexistent here, it’s difficult to be a creative lesson planner. Or I just need to be much better at using what I have. Which I know is definitely true!

4:00- Lock our door, sit at our dining room table, and debrief the day with Holly and a cup of tea to soothe our hurting throats! You can likely find us trying to beat the next level of Box Man on Holly’s phone… Anna, I understand your Ghana cell phone game addiction! I have this funny Panda game where you have to butt-bump bugs off of the bamboo stalks to earn points and it’s super funny.

6:00- Head to the Omorefe house for dinner with their family.

6:45- Prep for school the next day, listen to music, clean, or read

9:00- Go to bed and repeat the next day!

I am hoping that as this routine solidifies and I start to work in the resource room, I become both more motivated and more of a go-getter. These first two and a half weeks have been pretty disheartening in the classroom and pretty hard on my confidence as a teacher. I am walking away from this 2^nd grade class feeling as though I didn’t teach them anything, and that is so hard for me. I’m sure it’s also not true, but it feels like it… And I know there is a lot more I could have done. But I still have a whole year left in this school and I need to remember that I still have a lot of work left to do with these kids!!

On Tuesday night this week, I got a chance to talk to Tricia on the phone for a while, which was such a needed and uplifting conversation. However, at the same time, it made me miss home and the people there so much. There is a huge chunk of my heart that wants to be in Spokane talking wedding details with Tricia and spending time outside with Devin and drinking Pleasant Blends with anyone who I can convince to join me. Another huge chunk of me wants to be somewhere in close proximity to Caty where I can go hang out with her and her sweet kittens whenever I want to, with the ability to text those both near and far to me at all times. But yet, the chunk that I chose to follow has been called here to West Africa. The one thing that has the ability to tear me down here is wishing for what I cannot have, and I have to figure out a way to both cope with the desire to be in the States yet learning to love being and living here. I was talking about this at Bible Study last night and Robin was asking us all “What do you to do deal with missing home?” and I had to just say that I don’t have a way to deal yet… Besides leave Chapel crying because it’s all I can think about (that was my Wednesday. I left  class crying twice this week… It wasn’t my best moment). I know that this week I sound like I am just complaint after complaint, but I know I shouldn’t be… I am blessed here and thankful to be in the place where I am at! Time to go finish tying up second-grade ends and prepping for Resource Room! Pray I don’t get blown away (literally) by the crazy wind that is outside right now…

PS- There was a HUGE rainstorm that lasted half an hour during school yesterday and I couldn’t teach because you couldn’t hear anything since the rain was so loud… It was so cool! Even though it makes everything so muddy, we have the ability to be inside during the rain and I just love it. My classroom roof does leak in places though so we had to do some rearranging of the desks during it… I’m sure this was just the first of many experiences like this!

Hoping this works!

September 15, 2012

Today I got a phone and internet… But then the internet only lasted like 40 minutes before we ran out of credit. I feel really awful that Holly basically didn’t get to use it… But it was definitely supposed to last for longer than that, so it was really frustrating. After going to bed exhausted yesterday, I woke up at 5:30 for no good reason… Which was so frustrating. But I tossed and turned until 7:15ish when Holly got up, and eventually I headed over to the volunteer house to shower since our water is turned off for the time being due to construction. After breakfast, Holly, Autumn, Rosemary (the 15-year old girl in the Omorefe family), and myself piled in the Sequoia to head off to Accra! It was such a weird feeling being in a mall in Africa… Except for the fact that none of the stores are the same, I might as well have been in the States. Anna had warned me that it would be super weird, and she was definitely right. I don’t know how I’ll ever get used to driving with people coming up to your window and trying to sell you things (aka ‘hawking’). Holly bought both gum and apples today without ever leaving the passenger seat… Which is both so cool and so crazy.

Tonight was movie night for the kids and I sat next to sweet Moses. He is one of the City of Refuge kids who is also in my class, and he is just the sweetest… He made sure I sat next to him and then held my hand for a while watching The Princess Bride. He was a new rescue this summer and I want to learn more about his story and his background. It seems as though he understands most of what I say, even though his expressive vocabulary in English isn’t very high. Looking into his eyes you see life and love, two things that I doubt were there before this summer… It’s incredible what such a short period of time can do for a person.

By about 7:30 each night, it is pitch black outside. Though sometimes it’s a little frustrating, it means there are stars galore out! There are hardly any clouds and if I’m outside at night, you can probably catch me with my head tilted back and my eyes fixed on the stars. It is such an incredible sight, reminding me of how truly miniscule I am in this world.

I can’t believe I have been gone for less than 2 weeks. Time is such a funny thing… I think it will go faster as time goes on, but right now it feels so slow…

Blog 5.5, Sunday Morning

Today I have sat here thinking about missing Tricia’s wedding and fundraising for after Christmas and wanting to sleep but not being able to and needing to do work for school and wondering if I should go to grad school next year or apply for jobs and how selfish I feel when I desire to be so many places other than here, but this place is all the children here know… Today, being in Africa for a year doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun. I am praying so hard that a teacher is found this week for the second grade job so that I can start doing SpEd here… I hope that improves my mood and my motivation. For now, I will hug Moses during church and smile as baby Joel and baby Justice dance around during worship… I will hang student work on the walls of the classroom and rearrange my desks, hoping my co-teacher isn’t mad about it… I will eat rice and rice and more rice, with a little chocolate on the side, and enjoy the plums I was able to buy at the mall. I will read “Searching for God Knows What” and think of Amber Todd (make that Amber Darling!) and her passion for this book at Book Club last summer. I will look at Instagram pictures from the week I left and want a little more. At some point, I pray, I will want what is right in front of me… But I think that will take more time.

Love

Blog6

Today when I was writing the date on the board, I thought “Woah, it’s already September 18^th?” This was the first experience I’ve had in Africa where I felt like time had moved at anything but a snail’s pace… Even though this means I have only been out of the country for 2 weeks, it’s getting to be the end of the month and that is a milestone! I find myself wishing away time here, even though I am by no means discontent in the place where I am at.

I have gotten the news that next week I will be able to start my special ed job! The teacher that originally had the job is able to come back and Autumn had no reservations in rehiring her, so I am very very VERY grateful! This class has been a big challenge for me and I am definitely learning that I prefer small groups or one-on-one instruction versus whole class instruction… Mostly because I feel that I am better at it. This class is just so naughty and distant and hard to engage that it’s frustrating to feel like I finished a lesson that was supposed to be fun and they were just disinterested or copying what the people around them are saying/writing. Boo. But only 2 more days of second grade and then I get to start with a clean slate! By the time I actually get to post this, I will be finished! Hurrah!

This weekend, Holly and I got a chance to walk off campus and explore the town around us. We first went to this little bar across the street (which means first walking twenty minutes from campus to the nearest street and crossing it) and split a beer for 3 cedis, or about $1.50, meaning that we each paid 75 cents. Score. While we were there, Holly went to use the “bathroom” and instead found the CUTEST tiny little kittens roaming around outside! They fit in the palm of your hand and were so precious. I’ve seen wild dogs here, plus a lot of goats and cows, but this was the first time I had seen cats and I was so excited.

After we left, we walked to the town of Doryumu (pronounced door-ee-oom, somehow the last u is silent). Technically this is where we live, but we really live in the middle of nowhere. But walking down the streets of the market, children are calling to us and trying to hold our hands and everyone’s heads turn our way… It is amazing how much one can feel like an outsider, or perhaps even a spectacle. We were looking for a fabric store, but had no luck, so we just wandered the streets a little before heading home. It was so fun to get a chance to explore the area where we live and to get a little taste of what life is really like around here. The lifestyle here is something I feel like I haven’t even began to take in… The idea of having a shop in the market and spending your whole life there, never leaving Ghana and likely not pursuing further dreams… It’s something I can’t even fathom.

I am still really struggling with the language barrier between me and pretty much all the people around me. We were in a meeting this afternoon and almost all the staff were talking to each other simultaneously but I could not understand a word being said… I have to be a very active listener to understand what is being said with their accent and there were too many voices at once for me to be able to discern what was actually being said. In class, I feel HORRIBLE when I can’t understand what a student is trying to say to me… Yet there is nothing that can be done about it except continue talking and listening, hoping that it will get easier.

Please pray for patience and motivation and I look to start stepping into a new role in this school next week… I am so excited and thankful that it is finally happening, I just really hope that things go as well as I want them to.

Africa

Internet here is scarce, so this is what I have written over my time here! Hopefully I will get internet here this weekend but we'll see. Much love to you all!

Blog1

September 6, 2012

It’s a little crazy that today is September 6^th,  because I feel like September 5^th didn’t exist.. I spent the whole thing either in the air, terrified/confused at the chaos of the Ghanaian airport, or deliriously telling Autumn, Stacy, and John about how incredible Anna’s wedding was this weekend. But I am HERE and in Ghana, safe and loving it. I feel totally spoiled because my roommate, Holly, and I were able to move into the BRAND NEW guest house today… Featuring a kitchen, living room, very weirdly shaped bathroom (the sink is right over the edge of the counter, it’s just a little confusing), and a much stronger fan J I slept in the old volunteer house for one night but they just finished this area so we were able to move in today after dinner.

My flights went super smoothly, even though the idea of at-gate security in Amsterdam seems so weird to me. How many times do they have to check and make sure I have my passport? The amount of security that goes into international travel really is incredible… To get to Florida, all I have to do is show my ID twice! No show your passport, boarding pass, visa, spin around 3 times, do a cartwheel, and down your water bottle before you go through security only to forget to refill it before you leave Amsterdam. I was able to get some internet for a while in Amsterdam which was great, but now I will have to wait until at least the weekend to get this guy up and posted on the blog. Everything here is pre-paid, so I have to wait to get a modem cord and credits for the internet before I can use it. I also realized about half-way through my flight from Amsterdam to Ghana that City of Refuge probably doesn’t have wireless (I was correct, they don’t), so my iPad pretty much does me no good until I am back in the States (I doubt I will be able to find any wireless in the city, but I will bring it with me just in case!). I am just very glad I had the foresight to download Skype, bring my webcam, and have my dad (thanks dad!) get a headset with a microphone so I can still use Skype while I’m here (once I get internet set up, that is). If anyone wants to contribute to my internet/phone fund so I can talk to you while I am here, feel free ;)

I am really excited for school to start here- I have only been to one day of training but I’m so excited to actually work with kids and take data and use it (Kim, your text was the last one I saw in the States before I turned off my phone… I would have loved a video about data!), and TEACH! I will get to spend the first few weeks of school observing classrooms and assessing kids to try and figure out who my caseload for the year will be… Ohhhh I get so excited just thinking about it. The kids here are all total lovers – they just want to hug you and have you pick them up and have the world feel right. It’s really precious, but also serves as a constant reminder of the lack of love that most of these children received when they were young that they are so desperately trying to make up for now.

Though I have done so much crying over the last week (at home, in the arms of my best friends, outside Anna’s bridal cottage, on the plane, in the airport.. some of them not the most convenient places), I have kept saying that I was so excited to actually be here… And that still stands true. Yes, the food is different (I ate oatmeal for breakfast this morning… For those who have lived with me, I’m sure you have at some point heard me complain about my strong distaste of oatmeal. Looks like that’s coming to an end!) and everyone feels so very far away and it’s HOT (not like melt your skin off hot, but a constant muggy/warm and enough to get pretty miserable in the middle of the day) but there is also a lot of laughter as Holly and I talk in British accents while playing Monopoly Deal and dance across our living room hoping the people having a meeting on the house porch across from us can see… Even in the farest away of places, there is hope. And if anyone can show me hope, it’s these kids.

In training today, Autumn referred to the Americans on staff as missionaries… Which we are. It’s just so crazy to be someone whom that term applies to... Someone called out and sent across the world to love and to proclaim the grace that is Jesus. Right now, it sounds like a lot of fun… But I know that soon, being here will feel hard. It will feel lonely and far away and much too big for me. But trust has got me this far and I pray that continues and that God continues to provide.

Talking to Anna’s fellow bridesmaid Rachel Mahar at the rehearsal dinner on Saturday, I was saying that one of my biggest fears in coming over here is wondering where to find community and what that will look like here. While that question still remains unanswered, although this first day has been a good start, Rachel told me “That will definitely be hard, but I really have a sense of peace for you in that. I think there’s something planned out for you.” Hearing her say these things was so encouraging to me, that something tells her it’s going to be alright. And it will be, even if it may be different from what I am used to.

So here’s to ADVENTURE, love, and laughter… And to Africa, my new home. May it soon begin to feel this way.

(I have one picture of the sunset here, but in the packing/unpacking/repacking to move process, I have no idea where my camera is. Once I find it I’ll upload it! Both the sunset tonight and on the plane were so beautiful… This is the perfect place to revel in the simplicity and beauty of things such as this.)

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Hello Friends,

Today is September 9^th, which means I have been in Africa for less than 4 days total… But it feels as though I have been here for so much longer. Most of that comes from that fact that one is not left with much of a choice other than to dive head-first into activity here as usual. Thursday & Friday were staff training, yesterday was a party & house dedication, and today was church in the morning and a little work in the afternoon.

Yesterday for the party we had the blessing of 2 families, the Beebe’s and the O’Leary’s come in to spend the day here. The Beebe’s are a missionary family living in Ghana for 2 years, and all 5 of their boys are coming to school at Faith Roots in this year. The mom, Robin, is working at our school, serving as a sort of assistant principal and teacher mentor. Her conversation is consistently honest and open about her love of children, her struggles and triumphs in living her, and her constant faith in the work her family is doing here. Being able to spend time with her boys (between the ages of, I believe, 4 and 17?) was quite a treat as well, including playing a game of Murder in the Dark at my & Holly’s new house to round out the night.

The other family that was here for the day was the O’Leary family. Sydney O’Leary is a 13-year old girl who raises money for the organization their family started called Feeding the Orphans. I have gotten a few different stories about  the origins of the organization, but she helps raise money to sponsor orphanages in Ghana and India, including raising enough money to build and open a second children’s home at City of Refuge. Their orphan population increased almost 100% this summer, as they went from 19 children to 36 children… Meaning that since July, they have rescued 17 children from child slavery. I am just getting to meet and know these people (I am realizing that people are much harder to tell apart when they don’t have hair!!!), I am already so amazed at how relaxed and at home these children seem here. Most have only been here for a few months but physically, they are thriving. I think there is still a lot of healing to be done in these children, but meeting their physical and social needs is the first step. Now that there is a second children’s home open, all of the children have their own bed (though some have never had a bed before in their life!) and there is adequate room for them to eat, play, and live the life of a child! It is such a sweet thing to witness. I spent yesterday afternoon just sitting on the new couch with different children climbing all over me… Usually, sweet Gabriel, who also sat with me at chapel today and watched TV with me later. I brought my camera out for the first time and seeing the kids (who are totally used to cameras by this point) smile HUGE smiles and then immediately say “Let me see!” They know that digital cameras mean they get to see their own faces, it’s pretty precious. One of the boys, John, is quite the little photographer, moving people around and telling them what to do to get the best picture. It was so fun seeing them be so excited about having a new home with nametags on their clothes cupboards and a space to call their own.

Today, we were TIRED… I fell asleep this morning after chapel and Holly is sleeping in our room now. Tomorrow we are to spend the day at school prepping, but because of construction (er, building… my classroom is in the new wing so it’s still getting finished), there is not a lot that can be done over there right now. We tried going over this afternoon but we ended up just looking at books for a while (I spent some time examining Canter’s Assertive Discipline… I have mixed feelings about it, but I have heard multiple teachers in the States sing its praises) and then peeking in my classroom. Holly’s still doesn’t have a ceiling finished (there is a roof, but they are putting in a ceiling as well… If that makes sense?) so I suppose I can’t complain! I will be praying that enough progress is made that we will be able to have an effective first day of school on Tuesday!

One of my biggest struggles in adjusting to life here (aside from the dang roosters that start talking to us at 5:30 every morning) has been trying to understand the Ghanaian accent. All of the teachers at school speak English, and most of the kids are starting to come along in their language, but understanding the accent is so difficult… Autumn told the staff that it took her 3 months to be able to effectively understand what people are saying. I am crossing my fingers that it doesn’t take me that long, but I’m sure it will… I had an experience on Friday where I was trying to communicate with the other resource room teacher (she is really more of an ELD teacher though) and I was just not being able to understand her… And unfortunately, neither could Holly. She was able to write/draw what she was trying to explain and we made it work, but I felt so bad that I had such a hard time figuring it out.

This afternoon, I read Mo Willems’ book “The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog” to three of the youngest kids here. I love Mo Willems and pretty much all of his books, and I have three of them here with me… But I realized that this book in particular is really only funny if you know what a hot dog is! These kids have never had hot dogs before… So the little duckling asking “Does it taste like chicken?” is just confusing to them, and not at all funny. Even asking them to tell me what the (very clearly) angry pigeon was feeling, they all started with “happy” because it’s what they are essentially trained to respond. When I asked them what made them angry or sad, all they said was “When someone beat’s me.” First of all, it makes me so sad that these kids have experienced beatings in the first place… And then that the only feeling they connect with sadness is physical pain. Anna has explained the frustration in a lack of connection with emotions and feelings within the culture here… It is so much more normal to simply push bad feelings away than to cope with them… But I just wish the kids could know that feeling is ok. I am no psychologist, though in these moments I wish I was, but I hope that I can find appropriate ways in school to connect to the children’s emotions and feelings, other than just “I’m fine!” (the typical answer you get when asking “How are you?”)

Already I find myself making so many comments and having so many thoughts of “After Christmas I’ll bring such and such back” or “At Christmas I can’t wait to do this”… I haven’t even been here for a week yet and school hasn’t started, I can’t be thinking three months down the road! Part of it has come from feeling like I’ve been here so much longer than I have… And part of it comes from not being able to have any communication with home yet. Whenever this actually gets posted, I will be thankful…  That could be tomorrow, or it could be in 3 weeks when Stacy & Johnbull get back from their trip to Italy. But I feel so selfish in these desires when other teachers have never used a computer, and the people these children call their family are all at City of Refuge… I am thankful that leaving home and being away is challenging, because it reminds me how rich my life is at home. I am blessed with friendships from many chapters of my life, all of whom I miss dearly. I was frustrated today when I realized that an e-mail I thought I sent to a number of people in Amsterdam didn’t actually go through…  I also keep remembering that being here means I will miss things than are REALLY important to me, such as Tricia and Jesse’s wedding next soon… I am so thankful they got engaged before I left (with 2 days to spare!) so that I was able to find out in real-time. However, being here on that day, even though it is 9 months away, is going to be so hard for me.

I sit here, looking out my barred window, and see a vast array of grasses and trees, a rocky mountain in the distance, and Miracle, JJ, and Kaleb playing with beach balls… I know that this is where I am supposed to be. I know that my heart will never be the same, even after being here for only a few short days. But I pray that this journey to making City of Refuge my home continues as well, for I truly believe that I can have more than one home… Having only one would be neglecting the other places that had molded my heart. And my heart longs for them too much to make me believe that those places are not home as well.

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So as most of you know, my whole purpose in coming to Ghana was to come teach special ed here… Throughout the training and meeting the kids at City of Refuge, I was so excited to get to work with these kids 1 on 1 and try and unlock their little brains.

Apparently God had a different plan… At least for now.

On Monday morning (the day before school starts, a day that was meant to be doing classroom prep and a lot of cleaning), Autumn came to me and told me that the P2 (Primary 2… Pretty much the equivalent of 2^nd grade) teacher had a family emergency so she had to quit her job, and then asked if I would be willing to take the job for now. She said she would try and figure out when they could do interviews to try and fill the position… But I am not sure what the likelihood of that happening is. During this conversation, my heart rate didn’t even go up at all… I feel like it should have been racing and I should have been freaking out. But somehow, that wasn’t my reaction….Who knows why. But I got to work looking at curriculum and trying to figure out what I was going to do with 24 second graders the next day! Holly and I ate a lot of peanut butter M&Ms last night and did our best to figure out what to do with our classes. Things became more difficult when we realized that the only tape we had at school, and since our walls are dusty cement, taping on them doesn’t work very well unless you use packing tape… and even that doesn’t work very well. So we improvised… And somehow today we survived the first day!

School in Ghana is completely different from school in the United States… I am trying to find similarities, but there aren’t many. Which means that I have a LOT of learning to do, because the methodologies that I use do not always work with these kids. And while there are some things in the Ghanaian school/culture that I strongly don’t agree with (like the lack of feelings, the struggle with critical thinking and problem solving, and the lack of imaginative play), I only have these kids for a year (and I don’t even know if I will be in this class the whole time) and I cannot change them or their culture or the culture of the school. I know that Autumn will support me in things I do, assuming that they are in the best interest of the children, but teaching them and getting them to understand what I am saying, especially with a language barrier, is already proving to be very difficult. I am trying to keep in mind that today was just the first day of school, but I know there is a lot of growing that needs to happen… And I just hope I am able to find a way to reach these kids.

Side note: Red light, green light has never been as high on my list of favorite games as it was today. Total win with the kids… They thought it was hilarious.

Going into this classroom not knowing if I will be here for two weeks or the whole year, I am trying to be in the mindset that these are my kids and I am setting a foundation for the whole school year. If I leave, then hopefully the kids will have a foundation… But right now it doesn’t feel like I am making much of a foundation at all… So I am praying that God knows what the heck He is doing with me in this classroom!!

Even after day 1 though, I am affirmed in my calling to SpEd… I find myself so drawn to the kids who need the extra love and support. While I know that I am a capable general ed teacher (even though it doesn’t feel like it right now), it’s totally not what I am passionate about. So in the midst of chaos, I am affirmed that I know what I love to do and that, eventually, I will have the opportunity to do it.

On days like this, all I want to do is come home and check Facebook and send out e-mails and text Caty… But none of those are options. Besides home. Today I had students draw pictures of their homes (which mostly turned into them drawing the picture that I put on the board), and I drew a picture of Holly and I sitting on our bunk beds because I wanted to draw my home here… “Home” is still certainly a work in progress, but I suppose none of this world is truly my home…

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Three days of school down and I am exhausted… I knew teaching in a different culture would be hard, but it seriously is! I have SO much to learn in this place, and God is certainly humbling me and my education degree! Sometimes I feel like I am starting over at Square 1 when I try and learn how to run a classroom with few resources, a really frustrating and simply curriculum, and the culture of a Ghanaian school… I have so much processing to do. And since my job is kind of in-limbo as I stay in 2^nd grade for the time being with the probability of being back in resource in a week and a half, life here just feels like it’s kind of happening around me and I am just kind of walking by faith on a day to day basis. Which is awesome, and probably really good for me. But also soooo stressful sometimes!

I would appreciate prayer for my wanting spirit that seems to be constantly around these last few days… Wanting internet, wanting food other than stew and rice, wanting FRUIT, wanting shelves for my classroom, wanting to be able to understand the children in my class, wanting the teaching methods I know to work, wanting this and wanting that… It has been really draining as I try to fight them off but they keep coming back.